I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
