We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
