I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
