well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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