Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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