it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
