i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
