you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
