I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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