marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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