dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
