I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
