I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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