I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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