And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
