I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
