i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
