Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
