I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
