i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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