Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
