I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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