Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
please come you make the beer taste better
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
