That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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