i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
