We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
