What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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