I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he fucked my hip out of place.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
