I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
