Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
