Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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