he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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