I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
