if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
