I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
