I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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