sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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