Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
