At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
