cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
