dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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