just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
