i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he was CRYING into my vagina
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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