i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
