tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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