so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
