Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
