hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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