$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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