I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
