At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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