I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
