i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
