dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
