Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
