just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
